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Providence

by Ben Freeman

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1.
Physics 04:03
Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion Bodies at rest tend to stay at rest Ooh, I liked the speed we were going Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion So we could have stayed in motion We could have stayed in motion, stayed in motion Bodies at rest tend to stay at rest And I'm not at rest yet Darling, I'm not at rest yet Bodies in motion tend to stay in motion Bodies at rest tend to stay at rest Ooh, I liked the speed we were going Ooh, I liked the speed we were going Ooh, I liked the speed we were going Music and lyric by Ben Freeman
2.
Can he hear me in the street below? Or do I have to stand on my tiptoes And leave my prints on his shuttered window 'Fore he knows he's the one I've been waiting for? Does his mind see the world my mind sees? Wanna be in his bed, I wanna be in his dreams Wanna polish his glass 'til he sees me gleaming Wanna turn into somebody he can't ignore 'Cause how many streetlights could I behold him in 'Til my eyesight goes dim, 'til he lets me in? And how many nights could I spend by his side 'Til he wants me as I want - ? Wednesday evening with his poetry Thought if I curled up with him he might wanna curl up with me But the letters had no arms, and the reader no company It just didn't turn out right Gotta clench my fists, gotta tell him now Gotta grind my teeth, gotta say it somehow Gonna speak with my eyes shut tight Gonna speak once I've turned out the nighlight 'Cause how many streetlights could I behold him in 'Til my eyesight goes dim, 'til he lets me in? And how many nights could I spend by his side 'Til he wants me as I want - ? Now I've done it, Now I'm fighting, now I'm running But I'd stand holding If only he would hold me I don't know how his heart goes He don't give me clues when I inquire He light up my world with his wildfire He give me tangled telephone wire As far as they eye can see Come to the warehouse on Power Street You want some trumped up love? I'll give you that for free Send me any old guy you see It's the ones that won't touch me I like most It was a slapdash scheme, and a headstrong vow It was a dried-up dream, it was a different town It was bad while it lasted, and it's over now It's a ring on my finger, it's a heavy ghost 'Cause how many streetlights could I behold him in 'Til my eyesight goes dim, 'til he lets me in? And how many nights could I spend by his side 'Til he wants me as I want him?
3.
Providence 02:04
Providence, I fell for you In a way that I couldn't show You hit like a hammer, You hurt like a hollow He opens up my heart and he leaves He is free, he is all right And he was all right with me, Back in Providence He opens up my heart and he leaves He is free, he is all right And that was all right with me, Back in Providence I open up my heart and I leave I am free, I am all right Or someday I'll be, That's my providence I open up my heart and I leave I am free, I am all right Or someday - Providence, I fell for you In a way that I couldn't show
4.
U Mad? 04:23
When we meet again, will it be the right time for us then? How far does it bend, this dumbass will I got to ride it out Like a winter, this woe without end? I just want respect I just crave your sex, yes I just need your time Let me get through to you - If you let me get through to you I think you'd come to like the things I say and do And if I'm giving something you want to get Why don't you take it, babe? From buying all your bullshit, I'm working up a regular debt And if you do, do, do, Then suddenly, you don't (I don't got time for that shit, baby) When you say you will, Then you act like you won't Are you really mad that I called you out like that? Ya basic, ya extra, Ya socially and emotionally unavailable piece of shit See I can spit some truth if you want me to No, we can't be friends but I could be your boo Now you better stand back, honey, before I lay my hands on you I can't even say the things I feel 'Cause I know, I know, I know you ain't ready to receive them, baby (Wordless) -- And if I'm giving something you want to get Why don't you take it, babe? From buying all your bullshit, I'm working up a regular debt And if you do, do, do, Then suddenly, you don't (I don't got time for that shit, baby) When you say you will, Then you act like you won't You won't go away You won't go away Call me, baby, once a week, just call me I don't ask for much, just consistency The truth is I think about you more than you think about me Oh, you could prove me wrong, boy, and say: No, no, no, no, you don't know me - 'Cause lately all you show me, all you show me Is how much you don't know me And I just wanna know you, I just wanna know you And I keep pushing you away If you love it let it go, have you heard what the people say? If you love it let it go, and it might come back to you someday I loved it so I let it go, I loved you and I let you go I loved you, and I let you get away You said it didn't hurt one bit Well, I wish it had hurt just a little bit, So I'd know I could move you, baby What's going on with you? Would you tell me what's going on with you? Give me something to lie next to, give me a fucking clue Will we meet again? Will we meet again? Will we meet again?
5.
The Wayside 05:56
I can't hold on to what I got For long enough to have it You can't have it if it ain't to be had And once again, my heart is broke I'm a creature of habit And this habit is driving me mad And speaking of this, I - Speaking of this, I - I been speaking about him lately But he ain't been speaking 'bout me No, he ain't been speaking 'bout me Said if I had his love I would kiss it and cry I would give him things to remember me by I would fill his future, I would try But I had his love And I held it inside And I never let my feelings fly And now I'm by the wayside It is so high, you can't get over it It is so low, you can't get under it Love is so wide, you can't get around it You just gotta move through it You just gotta move through it Love is so high, love is so high Love is so wide It's gonna eat you up if you try to hide inside it, honey That's what I learned with him as my guide Seems each time I find a man I find a way to lose him I didn't choose him, try as I might to spin it any other way And it's not my fault, and he's not the one But, boy, he could have been I would call him, I would write, if I thought it would make him stay And speaking of this, I - Speaking of this, I - I been speaking about him lately But he ain't been speaking 'bout me No, he ain't been speaking 'bout me Said if I had his love I would kiss it and cry I would give him things to remember me by I would fill his future, I would try But I had his love And I held it inside And I never let my feelings fly And now I'm by the wayside Music and lyric by Ben Freeman

about

If my music moves you, please:

a) write me a note and/or
b) share it with your friends!

Understanding how others experience my work is, for me, the most meaningful aspect of the process: it makes the solitude of writing digestible by transforming it into a context for community. You can contact me via Bandcamp, Facebook, or my personal email: ben.r.freeman at gmail :-)

Pay what you want means pay what you want! I don't feel entirely comfortable demanding money from people, but I have also put a significant amount of my own money toward this recording process and won't refuse your assistance in recouping the cost. Bandcamp says $4 is a good starting place for an album of this length. You are welcome to contribute more, less, or none at all. I trust your judgment!

I cannot wish you heartbreak, but I do wish you what precedes it. How lucky I am, ultimately, to have been present with people and places in ways that compel such missing. Robert Hass: “Longing, we say, because desire is full of endless distances.”

I know you won't be cranking this at your summer dance parties. I do hope that you return to it occasionally, in contemplation; perhaps, even, that it gives you some providence, some hope or guidance or care.

Thank you for listening.

Yours,
BFree

credits

released June 5, 2015

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Ben Freeman: music, lyrics, keyboard, vocals, percussion
Oliver Hill: strings (violin, 6- and 12-string guitar, electric bass), percussion, pedals, sound engineer (recording, mixing, mastering)

The arrangements that you hear emerged through true collaboration. I am very grateful to the remarkable Oliver Hill for his thoughtful stewardship of this album.

Cover art and promotional photography by Fred Mezidor

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all rights reserved

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about

Ben Freeman New York, New York

Hey, I'm Ben. I make songs about the big hurts and quiet joys of being alive. My music is sensuous and big-hearted and rewards slow, intentional listening. I really hope it touches you.

Peace,
b.free

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